THE CALF.
TO THE REV. MR. JAMES STEVEN.
On his text, MALACHI, iv. 2–“And ye shall go forth, and grow
up as CALVES of the stall.”
The laugh which this little poem raised against Steven was a loud
one. Burns composed it during the sermon to which it relates and
repeated it to Gavin Hamilton, with whom he happened on that day to
dine. The Calf–for the name it seems stuck–came to London, where the
younger brother of Burns heard him preach in Covent Garden Chapel, in
1796.
Robert Burns – The Calf Poem
Right, Sir! your text I’ll prove it true,
Though Heretics may laugh;
For instance; there’s yoursel’ just now,
God knows, an unco Calf!And should some patron be so kind,
As bless you wi’ a kirk,
I doubt na, Sir, but then we’ll find,
Ye’re still as great a Stirk.But, if the lover’s raptur’d hour
Shall ever be your lot,
Forbid it, ev’ry heavenly power,
You e’er should be a stot!Tho’, when some kind, connubial dear,
Your but-and-ben adorns,
The like has been that you may wear
A noble head of horns.And in your lug, most reverend James,
To hear you roar and rowte,
Few men o’ sense will doubt your claims
To rank among the nowte.And when ye’re number’d wi’ the dead,
Below a grassy hillock,
Wi’ justice they may mark your head–
“Here lies a famous Bullock!”